WHAT AM I ??

I am all about my dreams,
Dreams, which have been a beautiful ride of drastic transformations.

I am all about a destination,
Destination, which is clear, pre-decided and fixed, yet surprisingly unknown.

I am all about some truths,
Truths, which are on a barren island,
Where I stand holding them,
Waiting for the right time for them to be unleashed.

I am all about my mistakes,
Mistakes, that make me proud, for they unintentionally teach me to be better.

I am all about a satisfied self,
Self, which will never regret a single deed that I commit.

I am all about rediscovering myself,
Rediscovering, for I hold more than what the world has known me to be.

I am all about being what I am,
And, not being what the world always comprehends me to be.

I am all about that happiness,
Happiness, which will simply set everything right for me and for all.

I am all about the independence,
Independence, which made me believe that I do exist and it makes a difference to a lot.

I am all about the individuality,
Individuality, that made me Independent.

I am all about an unending tale,
Someone and something that is bound to be unending and will never cease.

For “What I am” is just a bit of what I am destined to be,
And if not destiny,
Then what I am determined to be, crossing the hurdles “MY-WAY”.

Rain and Me

All it brings me is happiness and lots of smiles.

Everyone around seems so happy, jumping over big and small puddles and some stepping in just for fun. While a few intelligent ones, like me off course, step-in on special purpose (clearing the mud off the shoes...... ;-P )
Everything turns so pure, fresh and clean. Trees green like never before, and my shoes clean like they had been, a long time back... :)

No matter what follows rain……
"the mud, water blocking here and there or the humidity”
When it’s raining, it’s simply the best of all.
No matter what follows a happy day……
“the sadness, grieves, worries or just anything”
When it's today, live like there is no tomorrow and make it the best of all.

Rain brings back with it memories and people and beautiful stories. It takes me to those golden days, no matter how rusty days were on the aftermath.
All that I can feel associated with those droplets is A Pleasing Contentment.

It makes me a kid again....
When going to school and returning back in rain was a reason good enough to be drenched. In fact it was a sure shot hit plan.....Never Failed :))

It sends me back to college.......
Its raining........class nai hogi ;) mat jao.....
Its raining......ghumney chalogey
Its raining.......chalo bhiga jaye
Its raining......college pool ban gaya hai......and seems like it will overflow soon
Its raining yar volley ball match start ho gaya hai shayad.....
and not to forget the last one.....
Its raining awesome yar.....cum on ahilya bhawan 3rd floor its hell awesome here....Its raining.......PICS, PICS, PICS........ :)))

Makes me nostalgic about home
When all we kids used to dance around at the terrace, in the storm preceding a heavy rainfall.
When rain meant.....chai, pakorey, halwa.... and well a lot lot lot more......
When it was all about clicking silly snaps in the garden, sometimes pulling and then pushing the other down.
When I had earphones on and in the rain I went out, splashing water here and there.
When walking down a long distance in an umbrella was such fun.....reason... “I am out to buy something hell important” or “Oh I have to meet a friend in need”..... :)

And then Delhi
In a sudden downpour we rushed towards the station, due to lack of time and a long distance train to catch. Adventurous......it was :)

And now I realize what makes me happy….
Its each of these stories that gushes in me.
The fact that I can feel the presence of everything good near makes me feel satisfied.
The fact that I can again get back to that playful child, those college days and the most beautiful place on earth….. “my home” all in one go.
And the fact that I can still feel the presence of each one those who care for me, no matter how far they are, makes me feel that…….
“Pleasing Contentment”

 The Rain clears the rust off me and sends me back to that golden shining era.......for me to re-live it all over again.
No matter how rough days are, each time it rains, it rejuvenates me.
Like that water filtering down the layers of clouds, each of those beautiful stories return back to me in a perfect sequence.
Pure as ever.
Making me smile, making me a happier person, And Always Will.......

COLD

I stand beneath the sky, in the cold night.

I walk over fields nearby, to find you in sight.

The freezing breeze, it pinches me, “It shivers my soul”.

The piercing chill excruciates me, “Killing me overall”.

Once walking down the alley, I was not alone.

You were there beside me, on the path so unknown.

It was indeed beautiful, the flower that you picked.

I didn’t know it had thorns, till I was badly pricked.

When I was crying in pain, with my eyes shut tightly bound.

I thought you would release the strain, with your caressing arms around.

But to my surprise, it was still very cold.

I opened my eyes wide, and you were still nowhere to hold.

 I searched around here and there, the darkness was pitch black.

But to find you I had no fear, no strength, no might I lack.

Long hours of search and your absence, was too much for me to bear.

I accepted my destiny the way it came, stood up pretending- “Black’s not my fear”.

Pretensions never aid, but I had no clue.

I fell every time, tiered trying moving, a step or a few.

Strolling, leaping, falling, a few minutes again.

I heard you calling, but “Hallucinations remain”.

Hours and hours passed, striving through the way.

I was tracking back my path, and my life to what it was before that day.

I was crying all that time, but for you my eyes, “Dried they remain”.

Nothing within was fine, and I was faking myself, “I can sustain”.

The thorn was still pierced within, depreciating my willpower.

But I knew I cannot give-in, even if my path had thorns, no flowers.

Through all this I was very careful, I didn’t wanted to hate you.

I was walking and running, falling and skipping, with an undefined you, and hopes “A few”.

Long hours of dejection and suffering all alone, I thought of dying, better than being so.

Just then I saw a blinding light, I fell on my knees, and all I could see was the glow.

In this darkness pitch black, the light was really bright.

It came from nowhere, to set everything right.

Then my eyes were closed, but I could see the flashes.

The past and the memories, all those happy and sad splashes.

The light said something, unbounded undefined in words.

And then I felt as if resting in peace, the dark night ended, with the morning star, dew, breeze and birds.

But what was that the light conveyed, you might be wondering.

Was that a spell cast on me, or blessing that someone was showering.

It told me to be happy, that you are gone for your good.

It told me to wait for the morning, as the night’s end is just near stood.

It told me to be the same, no matter how circumstances and situations mould.

It told me to feel the warmth, even when it was damn cold.

It told me to hope high, to hope the best for you.

It told me to prepare for the worst, so that I could easily get through.

It taught me the best of things, that are inexplicable.

It told me that path to emancipation, is me and my destination being “Stable”.

I stood and walked for miles again, you- not by me-, but in my heart remained.

I was neither loving nor hating you, but why didn’t any of those sustained?

Eventually after toiling through, the dark and the sunny phase,

I was back to my belongings; I was "Over" the chase.

This was me all through the way, my journey all alone.

But the purpose of the loss was still as much unknown.

I promised to never look back, that land of flowery artifices.

But each day I watched through my curtains and smiled, coz those drizzling love showers, were too much not to believe.

With an undefined you, I am looping in goods and bads.

I want to break through, but then, I cannot.....yes I just cannot !!

Smiling through I promise to go, smiling through I promise to pray.

Smiling through I promise to grow, smiling through I will be, on my way.

FLY HIGH

I want to fly high,
Reach far and touch the sky.
Where I will be on my own,
Where I will have no concern about me being alone.
I will raise myself from the disgust I feel
I will be above all grudges, be it or not "God's Will".
I will stand and fight for my cause,
And not give HIM a chance to reason it with a "Because".


When from the sky above I'll look down,
Remember the day I shared my dream here in town,
I may be nostalgiac and get back memories,
Some remembrance and some stories.
"I will raise myself from the disgust I feel,
I will be above all grudges,
Be it or not "God's Will". "
Some will still be remembered I promise and say,
Some will still be desired more that day.


Today I have to live upto my dream,
Its a tough path, I know, almost going upstream.
But if I choose to follow it now,
I am not worrying about the question "how?".
"I will stand and fight for my cause,
and not give HIM a chance to reason it with a "Because". ".
The world then actually would be mine,
And my heart would again be smiling and fine.


I will be happy, I'll not be lying,
the day when I will be flying.
Coz I know what's meant for me,
and I know what will make me free.
That will be done when "I will fly high,
reach far and touch the sky".